Should men be able to have sex like a woman?

I recently read an article by sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner on www.msnbc.com which pointed to one of the pervading questions in our modern American culture: should women be able to have sex like a man? This question was put into perspective by Sex in the City character Carrie Bradshaw who states, "In an age where women enjoy the same money and successes as men, why shouldn’t women be able to enjoy sex like a man?” In times like these when women can have a professional life and not have to worry about that icky pregnancy thing because of advances in birth control, it is high time that women can have the unattached, purely pleasure-driven sex that men have.

Dr. Kerner's main premise is that women naturally have a greater incidence of emotional attachment during and after sex, which makes it difficult to be looking for the one night stand (which is apparantly how men have sex). He writes:

"In biological terms, the female orgasm releases a burst of oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone. It’s what makes you feel warm and fuzzy and what facilitates a sense of attachment. But if there’s nothing to attach to, if there’s no deeper emotional content or meaningfulness, orgasm becomes a regretful reminder of the hollowness of the sex that preceded it. This is called 'post-orgasm regret,' and it typically manifests itself in the form of sadness or anger, sometimes to the extreme."

Noting that there are actual biological reasons (not just conditioned to be emotional and weak as society supposedly pressures women to be), one might think that Dr. Kerner might encourage women to listen to their bodies and respond in a positive way. But his advice presents something entirely different. He states that women should definitely be able to have sex like a man, as long as they take into account a few things and "compartmentalize." I'm pretty sure that Dr. Kerner just asked women not to be women.

To go back to the beginning, there are some inherent flaws with the view of what it is to be a woman or a feminist. The first question points towards an attitude that to be equals, women must be more like men. It is almost as if secular feminists want to perpetuate the stereotype that feminity is weak and masculinity is strong, therefore women should reject their feminity to have "equality" with a man. How is this feminism?

I challenge this reject of the woman and her body with this question: should men be able to have sex like a woman? It seems that because men have a greater capacity for compartmentalizing their lives, it is easier for him to have the one night stand and be more sexually promiscuous. Perhaps rather than teaching women how they can deny their own biology and learn to seperate emotion from sex, Dr. Kerner should be giving tips on how men can re-instill meaning and emotion into sex. The disconnect is not a short-coming of the women, but of the men.

Women, do not reject yourself--your body, mind and spirit. Our culture is one that pressures women to reject how they are made, whether it means a self-image issue or using birth control to get rid of the possibility of pregnancy. We have a womb for a reason and it an amazing gift that a man can never have! Why deny that we do? Do yourself a favor, and do not crush the feminine spirit that you possess. Listen to your body, and be good to it. It may mean more than we can know.