Say Yes to No

Perhaps it's counter-intuitive, but there are a lot of reasons to deny ourselves pleasures once in a while. I'm not talking about giving up a vice, but rather giving up something that in itself is good or at least neutral. I remember sitting in my high school's Ash Wednesday mass, and the girl next to me (a notorious bad-girl within our halls) leaned over and whispered, "I'm going to give up sex for lent. Is that bad?" Albeit misinformed, I believed her intentions were in the right place. I told her I thought it was a good idea and focused back on the mass. But I think that she was missing the point, as so many of us do during this time.

Giving up something that is bad for you should be obvious; it's just healthy. If you are having sex with someone you're not in a committed relationship with, you should stop. If you've got the mouth of a sailor, you should probably stop dropping so many f-bombs. Whatever your vice is, you should, at any time, feel free to reform yourself.

What I am talking about though, is giving up something that you like and it isn't wrong for you to like it. I believe that you can make yourself mentally and morally stronger by denying something of yourself that isn't actually bad for you. Yes, you could eat that chocolate, but a little bit of self denial goes a long way. This isn't a diet, but it's an understanding that any sort of dependence on material things enslaves us to our passions and desires.

I am a naturally passionate person (trust me, I think my boyfriend lost count of the amount of times I've come crying to him a long time ago), but I've come to see that I must be aware of how these passions affect my life, and be weary that they don't direct it. Saying no to myself is an exercise in the freedom I have over my own life.

Denying yourself something you like gives a healthy sense of control, and when paired with faith, could be a great weapon for you in the moments of temptations. It only makes sense that if you say yes to every desire you have, (you know all the small ones, eating some candy, grabbing another soda, watching that movie with a racy scene, buying another shirt, spending your money a little too indiscriminately) you say yes to the vices also. Is it any wonder that so many people choose to have sex in high school and college, especially in the hook-up atmosphere? They've never said no before.

Saying no to yourself in those moments when it doesn't really matter are only prepping you for the times when it does. When it matters a lot.